Click. Forward.

As I mentioned before. I recently aged a year. Not that aging happens in one year chunks. I mean, we're constantly getting older. However, my age-ometer doesn't have decimal places. I don't have the digital model... It's an all or nothing thing. I'm either 27 or 28. Not 27.2834.

So. Yeah. I'm older. My birthday actually occurred while we were in Seattle. Exploring a new place with my favorite person in the world was a fun way to celebrate.

Initially, I thought this new year was no big thing. However, I'm beginning to think I smile too much... Last week I noticed smile lines on my face. Either they weren't there before or my eyesight is actually improving with age.

Other than the wrinkles, everything else seems to be in working order. My biceps are still so big. I am actually more comfortable in my wrinkling skin this year than last year. I guess the more skin wrinkles the more comfortable it is... The easier it is to smile and laugh.

People keep telling me that my thirties will be the best. That women only get better in their 30's... You might be wondering. Is it possible for me to get ANY better? Is there any room for improvement? Yes. Just ask Manda. :o) Good thing she loves all of me. Including my wrinkles.

Peace Out.

Excuse me?!

That's right.....that would be my girl you are rubbing on!

The nerve of some women! Seriously!

I just wish I could had been there to see the look on Lindsay's face when that happened. Lindsay is not what you would call a touchy, feely kind of gal. To have someone she barely knows encroaching on her personal space is crossing the line, much less touching her "biceps".......that would have been hilarious.

Can't say that I was thrilled with it, but it was amusing nonetheless.

L8R.
Manda

Occasionally. Things get awkward.

Disclaimer: this 5 minute interaction with Ms. Wandering Hands was more comical than anything else. She was drunk and I'll probably never see her again. Which is good. Good because I don't feel like being felt by her. :o)

On occasion, people find me attractive. I'm not saying it happens often. Just saying it happens.

Recently, I was out with friends. Sans Manda. Which means I was without a buffer. I had to fend for myself. I'm not very good at fending.

Not long into the evening she approached. Her. Ms. Wandering Hands. The molestor.

I didn't feel threatened by her. Not her presence. Not her lack of recognition of my personal space. But then again. I have a weakness for cute girls with southern accents.

"Can I buy you a drink?" ... that's how it harmlessly started. I had a full glass in my hand. Maybe she didn't notice it? I'm pretty smooth. I replied with, "No thanks. I'm good." I think she needed confirmation of my goodness. Why else would her hand find its way onto my forearm? Not in a casual way. More in a "your skin is so soft" kind of way. Don't know if you're familiar with this method. It requires friction. Rubbing up and down.

I managed to gently extract my forearm from her grasp. Relief. That's what I felt. This isn't awkward. It would be okay.

No it wouldn't. Turns out I have such strong biceps. I must work out. Or at least that's what she told me. I do work out. So I flexed for her. She was impressed. I don't mean to brag, but I can bench press like 50 pounds. I'm just saying.

My bra size. That's what she was trying to figure out. Maybe she needed to borrow a bra. Maybe hers didn't fit right. Maybe she was thinking of getting implants and my size looked good. She might have been shy. Too shy to simply ask. Regardless, she attempted a hands on examination of my goods.

Normally, I like to help people out. I'm a giver. I sometimes cry at Hallmark commercials. I care. I feel for others. Turns out, others feeling for me can be awkward. Really awkward.

Like I said, I'm smooth. I have reflexes like a cat. I only froze for like 5 seconds. Ten tops. It's really all a blur. I know I smiled. She smiled. I think she thought I was going to give up my size. Instead, I handed her hands back to her and walked away.

Kind of anti-climatic. I realize this. But when you're as smooth as me, actions speak louder than words. I am confident she got the message I was sending. "You totally didn't say please first!"

Manda was ecstatic when I told her about the girl who wanted to know my bra size. Really though. I think her laughter sounded a little forced.

Peace Out.

Lonely?

Alone. Bored. Nothing to do. How do you pass the time? I had to figure that out while Lindsay was in Seattle. What did I do, you ask?

Had parties. Slept around. All the typical things you do when you are all alone and bored, right? Riiiight.

Honestly, I worked long hours and counted the minutes until I could talk to my girl. I was a miserable mess without her here. =o(

I did get to take my first trip to Seattle on Lindsay's birthday. That was a good time. Got to mingle with the locals and sample the local culture. Would definitely go back.

L8R.
Manda

Cruising...

On occasion I travel for my profession. Not every lung transplant happens locally. (Who knew?) There were half a dozen lungs needing new homes in Seattle. I decided to help them move in.

Although I reserved a Porsche with the rental car company. They were idiots. A ford focus? You're kidding. Please be kidding. Surely you have something larger. Something that doesn't depend on hamsters to move.

Lindsay. Meet Freda. Freda's a ford focus.



Sexy. That's what Freda was. The green paint contrasted nicely with the blue waters and concrete freeways. Plus, as I mentioned earlier, Freda matched my eyes.

It rained. Freda handled the slicks and puddles well. A hydroplane here or there is good for blood circulation. Not to mention my fellow drivers enjoyed the opportunities to flip me off and honk their horns. Within days, my nickname was "learn how to drive!"... *sigh*... the memories.

Manda spent the weekend with me. She was fortunate to spend time with Freda. Since my hotel was actually outside of Seattle, Freda escorted us across Lake Washington several times. Because Freda was so well built, I didn't even notice the bridge across Lake Washington was a floating bridge. You'd think "floating... surely you got sea sick". Maybe in lesser cars. But not in Freda. I didn't bob up and down. Not once.

Manda and I had a blast zipping around. Freda was so agile. First to expensive restaurants. Then to the Seattle Aquarium (cute little fishies). Next to the Space Needle (The name is misleading. It is not in space. I kind of felt ripped off.) Eventually we found our way to the Seattle Underground. (It was underground. No misleading there) Sure we were tourists... but with Freda's Washington license plate, we felt like locals.

Freda was so different from the others I've driven. There wasn't an awkward period in the beginning. We clicked right away. She was perky. Eager to please. She had tight curves. Sure her head lights weren't as large as others, but she was beautiful on the inside. You could ease her gently or make her squeal. When I begged her to stop, she did. She was just so responsive. *sigh*

Seattle was great. Sure. I spent a good chunk of time moving lungs around. But then Freda spent a lot of time moving me around. Having Manda there to experience new things with me made it even better.

Manda. Freda. Me. Almost sounds like a kinky 3some.

Peace Out.
Lindsay

Wha...

*gasp* ...

You slept with Ellen?... My Ellen?... Ellen DeGeneres!? ...

*turns and walks away*

Absence makes what?

Ok...so I have been neglecting this blog too. It's hard to schedule bloggin time in when you're this popular. I mean, between Ellen, Angelina and Eva....who has time for anything else? Those three can't keep their hands off me, and who can, I mean really?

No...seriously, life just comes at you fast sometimes. Nothing fun or exciting to report. Just life.

I did make my first trip to Seattle. What a cool place.

Well, that thing called life is beckoning. Write more later on my antics while Lindsay was out of town.

L8R,
Manda

I missed you too.

Neglect. That's what I've done to this blog. It is lonely. It never gets any attention from me. I am a bad blogger. My only consolation in this is that it is partially Manda's fault. She's been neglecting the blog too.

What have I been up to? My life is mundane and boring... All bragging aside. I did drive a sweet Ford Focus around Seattle for two weeks. It matched my eyes. It was green.

My age-ometer clicked forward one year. This is the oldest I've ever been. It's new and exciting. And I did get molested by a stranger. A cute, well mannered stranger. Manda was thrilled when I told her. Super thrilled. Thrilled in the way people are when they aren't thrilled at all. :o)

The edge of your seat. That's where you're sitting right now. I'll try not to make you balance there too long.

Be back soon.

Peace Out.
Lindsay