Aerosmith. Among other things.

Last week I traveled to San Francisco with my brother on business. We had to share a hotel room. Damn expense budgets. I did get him to iron my shirt. Since ironing is not a skill I possess, that made it worth it.

Upon arrival, we were picked up from the airport in a limo. The limo took us all around downtown San Francisco: conference, dinner and dessert. I've been trying to arrange a permanent driver back in Phoenix. Turns out Manda doesn't want to drive me everywhere.

Okay. The limo was the best part of the trip.

Until we learned we had free Aerosmith concert tickets. *claps with excitement*

Then we learned the concert was occurring after our scheduled departure date.

We were pretty bummed, but it turned out that our director was on-board with the Aerosmith love. She arranged for us to stay a day later for meetings... and coincidentally, we got to see Aerosmith. I love coincidences sometimes.

The Aerosmith love started out pretty well. $9.80 to ride BART from Walnut Creek to San Francisco. From there we hoofed it around downtown until we found a a suitable hotel to hang out at.

You see. Oracle was hosting Aerosmith and had arranged for transportation for the 30,000 people attending Oracle Open World to Treasure Island (which is in the middle of the bay). All we had to do was catch a shuttle from a participating hotel and we were set. (we of course had tickets) -- Don't ask why a lung surgeon was attending Oracle Open World... Maybe we're looking at using their databases to improve air retrieval speeds and lung capacity!

We stood in line for an hour. No shuttle came. Turns out we chose a hotel that was no longer participating in the shuttle route. Awesome.

Thankfully, we only had to walk 3 blocks to another hotel. We caught a shuttle in 15 minutes. We made it to Treasure Island with 20 minutes to spare.

Aerosmith was awesome. I was hearing impaired by the end of the concert.

We arrived back to Walnut Creek at midnight. We hadn't eaten dinner yet. Good thing Wendy's is open late. It was quite tasty.

After eating, packing and winding down, we got 3-4 hours of sleep. Then we headed to the airport. The transportation to the airport was a let down. If you're going to pick me up in a limo, you should drop me off in one too. I'm just saying.

Peace Out.
:o)

Setbacks.

Round trip, the bike ride to and from our kickball game was 20 miles. After 16 miles, we were closing in on home and mentally prepared to strip out of our spandex and cleanse ourselves in a nice cool shower.

With the sun setting, we hopped onto the sidewalk to avoid blind spots in the upcoming road. With me leading the way, we hit 15 mph after cresting a small hill.

Being that we were on road bicycles we felt every bump, crack and deviation in the road. Road bikes don't have front or rear shocks. They're built to be light weight so they can go fast. And they're really good at going fast.

What they're not good at is handling sudden 5 inch drops from concrete sidewalks to jagged asphalt. Unfortunately, we had to learn that the hard way.

At the last second I tried to stop. Manda tried to stop. Her forward momentum became my forward momentum after she ran into the back of my bike.

The only part of my body I remember hitting the asphalt was my hip. The next thing I remember is a moment of confusion as to how I got to where I was. I lifted my bike off me and jumped up to make sure Manda was okay. She was.

Moments passed in silence. Man, did my hand hurt. I tell Manda, "I think I broke my hand." She doesn't say much as she is still assessing her injuries. A few moments later, I tell her, "I think I broke my arm." I look down and notice blood running down my leg as a man walks by. He doesn't offer to help.

More moments pass in silence. My arm hurt more and more. I didn't feel my hip or my leg anymore.

We were roughly 4 miles from home. Did we need an ambulance? No. We ran down the checklist of our friends who lived nearby. None of them had a truck to haul our bikes. It was only 4 miles, we would walk.

A mile and a half later, I'm feeling like I'm going into shock. Manda is having a hard time pushing both bikes. All I can think about is getting home. After a cursory check and repair of the bikes, we decide to try and ride the last 2.5 miles home.

I can't use my left arm and I'm nervous about clipping into my pedals. I ride home with one hand, wearing my kickball cleats.

Stripping off our spandex, we took stock of our injuries. My arm was unusable. I suspected it broken. My hip was an amazing array of only blood blisters. Turns out, biking spandex has protective qualities. My knee had a gnarly bruise on its side. I removed pieces of asphalt from my calf. My leg was bleeding, but didn't need stitches.

Urgent care was a blur. A physical examination. X-rays. Bandages. Soft cast. Sling.

After 4-5 doctor's appointments my injuries were listed as: hair line fracture in the elbow; sprained neck; sprained elbow; sprained wrist; broken bone in my wrist/hand; minor cuts and abrasions.

Manda, thankfully escaped with minor scrapes and bruises. The next morning she was able to have her gall bladder out as scheduled.

How did the sidewalk suddenly drop off 5 inches to rough asphalt? It was constructed without a slope or gradient. Yes, on purpose. I do not know why.

5 weeks later, I am still healing. I have another 3 weeks in the splint for my wrist. I had to get a new helmet. The one I was wearing during the accident has a chunk missing out of the back of it.

Despite this setback, we are still addicted to cycling. To quote the Terminator: "We'll be back".

Peace Out.

Something to fill the time...

With all this free time on my hands since graduation, I set out to find myself a hobby. Not just any hobby, but one in which I could keep fit and look good while doing it. The obvious choice based on this criteria was cycling. I haven't worn spandex since 6th grade and quite frankly I've missed the way it hugs my curves. But I digress.

Our first official cycling trip was a simple 2 mile ride over to where we normally go hiking. I was on a circa 2001 $120 Target mountain bike which hasn't been tuned up ever... I mean ever. In fact, I wasn't sure the chain would survive my shifting the gears... So I didn't.

Manda's bike was just over a year old and was thus categorized as the nice, "new" bike. Despite it's categorization, we were aware that her bike had a "slow leak" in one of it's tires. We were confident this wouldn't be a problem over a 2 mile ride, but we stuck our big ass bike pump in Manda's Camelbak just in case. Passing motorists must have thought we were totally newbs with the two foot bike pump towering above Manda's head. But it is a good thing we decided against looking cool. We had to pump the "slow leak" up every half mile.

Other than the continual inflation needs of Manda's bike, the ride was smooth until we hit our first and only hill. Quite frankly, I almost vomited due to exertion and I didn't even make it to the top. Once I caught my breath and my stomach settled, I deduced that I was not out of shape, but that my bike was entirely too heavy. Plus, it might be nice to be able to shift gears occasionally.

What happened next has been a blur.

Six bike purchases later (With one bike returned) we now each have 3 bicycles. This simple, fun cycling hobby has taken on a life of its own. The slinky spandex outfits control us and feed our egos. We now see no problem walking around in skin tight spandex because we feel they're slimming and all our cool cycling friends are doing it too. (which, I have to say, if you're going to gallivant around in spandex, make sure everyone else is wearing it too. People are less likely to spot you in a crowd).

Additionally, with all this time spent in shorts outside, I think I might have a tan.

Peace Out.

You look different than I thought...

Recently I traveled to meet my new boss. I was pretty nervous about the meeting so naturally Manda took me shopping for a new suit. Nothing boosts confidence levels like new clothes. Black pin-strip pant-suit with a matching vest. Pimpin.

The work day started with 8 hours of meetings and ended with a team dinner.

There were 20+ people who arrived for dinner. The restaurant didn't have a table big enough for 20+ people, so they spread us out amongst multiple tables. I thought it was pretty freaking neat that my new boss chose to sit next to me. I took it as a sign that I hadn't been a total dork in the 8 hours of meetings earlier that day.

During appetizers, my new boss turned to me and said: "You look different that I thought you would."

I was stunned for a few moments but then chuckled and said "I know I'm blessed with a gruff voice, but what were you expecting? A six foot line backer in a dress?"

After the comment left my mouth, I feared she would say "yes, that is exactly what I was expecting." Thankfully, she shook her head, laughed and said simply "no."

Okay. Fine keep me guessing. I could do this all night. Thankfully it didn't go on that long. After a few more questions she finally told me: "well, you look scholarly."

So. Basically. She didn't get the impression I was all that smart. Awesome.

I asked her if it was my glasses. She informed me it wasn't my glasses. Without thinking, I leaned back in my chair and said "it's this sweet vest I'm wearing isn't it?"

Thankfully she got my sense of humor and laughed. *phew*

I never did find out what she thought I'd look like. My money is on the six foot line backer in a dress. Anyone who's ever heard me talk would agree.

Peace Out.
:o)

Whatever.

Sometimes our lives are not funny or interesting. Sometimes we're doing boring things like laundry, sleeping or simply watching tv. I know this information has a good chance of ruining our flashy-exciting image, but I am feeling particularly gutsy today. I'm putting it out there.

Since I'm feeling gutsy, I'm gonna divulge all kinds of embarrassing information. We'll likely lose members of the cult we started last week. Whatever, we don't need any losers that quit. Our cult will still reach its goal of banning paper in the hopes of preventing unnecessary and painful paper cuts.

Back to that information I'm going to share. Did you know that I don't like wearing clothes that fit?... I like clothes 1-4 sizes too large. It is very rare to see me in clothes that actually fit. Manda often says "it looks like a family of jews moved out of the ass of your pants." *shrugs*

The other day I had to get a renal ultrasound... fascinating right? That's not even the good part. I drank 3/4 of a gallon of water within 2 hours of my appointment. I allowed myself the pleasure of peeing twice within those 2 hours. By the time I arrived to the ultrasound place, my bladder hurt so bad, I was sure it was bursting slowly. I'm sweating just thinking about it. I don't know that I've ever been that close to peeing myself in my adult life. Well. There was that time when we were snorkeling off the coast of Cozumel. Only I actually did pee myself that time. I was swimming at the time. For some reason that makes it okay.

Back to our cult. The joining process is simple. You must submit a handwritten easy, no less than 25 pages long, detailing all the reasons you think we're cool. Or you could just leave a comment.

Peace Out.
:o)

Damn Pigeons...

Guess these two birds had upset stomachs.


This was not fun to clean.

Peace Out.
:o)

PS. I love how my classmates took pictures like they'd never seen pigeon poo on a car before. lmao

PSS. Credit to my classmate "Sandwich Mike" for providing these photos.

Remember Me?

I've been neglecting the blog again. Just thought I would mention it in case you didn't notice. I don't really feel bad about it since Manda stopped posting like a year ago... now she just tells me to post whatever she wants. She's cute, so it's working for me.


I hate posts like these where I feel pressured to summarize the last two months into a couple of paragraphs. Not going to happen. Just not going to happen.

Pointless information from the last 2 months:

• I had gas a couple of times. Gas-X seemed to help.
• Manda changed her favorite drink to vodka and cranberry.
  
• I found out I have tendinitis in my right elbow.
  
• Manda decided not to get her hair cut. At one time she had planned to.
• I hit 5000 miles on my car. It lost its oil-change-virginity yesterday.
• Manda ran in her first 5K. I was her #1 fan. Short skirt, pom-poms and all.
• We changed out our rings for our 5 year anniversary. Called it "the 5 year upgrade".
• Sadly, three of Manda's relatives passed away.
  
• Didn't sleep for two days while I made my sister a homemade Christmas present.
• Manda joined Facebook... FINALLY. My life is so much easier now.
• My car was officially named Ellen. Give you one guess who the namesake is. Now I get to say that I turn her on and drive her crazy. *giggles*
  
• Manda officially named her car Kate after Kate Walsh.
• I said ass out loud. Yes for real.
  

Now for a story about Garrison. I know you've missed these the most.

Garrison. My handsome little man himself. He has something like acid reflux... I don't know. It makes him throw up if he doesn't eat. Anyways. Today I was laying on my bed working when he made the non-confusable "I'm going to throw up" stomach wrenching noises. I tossed my laptop aside and grabbed him. We have a routine where he makes the "I'm going to throw up" noises, I grab him, hold him over the trash can and then he throws up. It requires much less clean up and he's actually quite good with his throw-up aim.

Everything went according to the schedule until I misread the "I'm going to throw up a second time" cues. I caught on as his body wretched, summoning up the goods from his belly. I started to swing him around to the trash can... and well, I don't know if the momentum from the swing accelerated the summoning process, but he spewed mid swing. I watched the "goods" fly through the air and hit the bedroom door. Yes. One large mass of green/yellow stomach bile flew through the air and splattered on my bedroom door.

This was immediately funny. I'm still laughing about it. Dog vomit stories are always funny when they don't involve stained carpet and actual vomit landing on me.

Good Times.

My school and work schedules are getting back to normal, so blogging should be more frequent. Or so I hope. :o)

Peace Out
:o)