You look different than I thought...

Recently I traveled to meet my new boss. I was pretty nervous about the meeting so naturally Manda took me shopping for a new suit. Nothing boosts confidence levels like new clothes. Black pin-strip pant-suit with a matching vest. Pimpin.

The work day started with 8 hours of meetings and ended with a team dinner.

There were 20+ people who arrived for dinner. The restaurant didn't have a table big enough for 20+ people, so they spread us out amongst multiple tables. I thought it was pretty freaking neat that my new boss chose to sit next to me. I took it as a sign that I hadn't been a total dork in the 8 hours of meetings earlier that day.

During appetizers, my new boss turned to me and said: "You look different that I thought you would."

I was stunned for a few moments but then chuckled and said "I know I'm blessed with a gruff voice, but what were you expecting? A six foot line backer in a dress?"

After the comment left my mouth, I feared she would say "yes, that is exactly what I was expecting." Thankfully, she shook her head, laughed and said simply "no."

Okay. Fine keep me guessing. I could do this all night. Thankfully it didn't go on that long. After a few more questions she finally told me: "well, you look scholarly."

So. Basically. She didn't get the impression I was all that smart. Awesome.

I asked her if it was my glasses. She informed me it wasn't my glasses. Without thinking, I leaned back in my chair and said "it's this sweet vest I'm wearing isn't it?"

Thankfully she got my sense of humor and laughed. *phew*

I never did find out what she thought I'd look like. My money is on the six foot line backer in a dress. Anyone who's ever heard me talk would agree.

Peace Out.
:o)

Whatever.

Sometimes our lives are not funny or interesting. Sometimes we're doing boring things like laundry, sleeping or simply watching tv. I know this information has a good chance of ruining our flashy-exciting image, but I am feeling particularly gutsy today. I'm putting it out there.

Since I'm feeling gutsy, I'm gonna divulge all kinds of embarrassing information. We'll likely lose members of the cult we started last week. Whatever, we don't need any losers that quit. Our cult will still reach its goal of banning paper in the hopes of preventing unnecessary and painful paper cuts.

Back to that information I'm going to share. Did you know that I don't like wearing clothes that fit?... I like clothes 1-4 sizes too large. It is very rare to see me in clothes that actually fit. Manda often says "it looks like a family of jews moved out of the ass of your pants." *shrugs*

The other day I had to get a renal ultrasound... fascinating right? That's not even the good part. I drank 3/4 of a gallon of water within 2 hours of my appointment. I allowed myself the pleasure of peeing twice within those 2 hours. By the time I arrived to the ultrasound place, my bladder hurt so bad, I was sure it was bursting slowly. I'm sweating just thinking about it. I don't know that I've ever been that close to peeing myself in my adult life. Well. There was that time when we were snorkeling off the coast of Cozumel. Only I actually did pee myself that time. I was swimming at the time. For some reason that makes it okay.

Back to our cult. The joining process is simple. You must submit a handwritten easy, no less than 25 pages long, detailing all the reasons you think we're cool. Or you could just leave a comment.

Peace Out.
:o)