Sometimes our lives are not funny or interesting. Sometimes we're doing boring things like laundry, sleeping or simply watching tv. I know this information has a good chance of ruining our flashy-exciting image, but I am feeling particularly gutsy today. I'm putting it out there.
Since I'm feeling gutsy, I'm gonna divulge all kinds of embarrassing information. We'll likely lose members of the cult we started last week. Whatever, we don't need any losers that quit. Our cult will still reach its goal of banning paper in the hopes of preventing unnecessary and painful paper cuts.
Back to that information I'm going to share. Did you know that I don't like wearing clothes that fit?... I like clothes 1-4 sizes too large. It is very rare to see me in clothes that actually fit. Manda often says "it looks like a family of jews moved out of the ass of your pants." *shrugs*
The other day I had to get a renal ultrasound... fascinating right? That's not even the good part. I drank 3/4 of a gallon of water within 2 hours of my appointment. I allowed myself the pleasure of peeing twice within those 2 hours. By the time I arrived to the ultrasound place, my bladder hurt so bad, I was sure it was bursting slowly. I'm sweating just thinking about it. I don't know that I've ever been that close to peeing myself in my adult life. Well. There was that time when we were snorkeling off the coast of Cozumel. Only I actually did pee myself that time. I was swimming at the time. For some reason that makes it okay.
Back to our cult. The joining process is simple. You must submit a handwritten easy, no less than 25 pages long, detailing all the reasons you think we're cool. Or you could just leave a comment.
Peace Out.
:o)
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Understated. Inconspicuous. Naked.
7 comments:
In your defense Linds...wearing clothes that are comfy and over-sized is a good thing...I do the same thing and in my pretty little world, it just makes me feel like I am on vacation every single day.
I think you're totally cool because you do what no many others can do. You get to save lives. You are a lung transplanter. Plus, I like your car. (Repeated enough times to fill 25 pages.)
Let me correct my former post:
"You do what NOT many others can do."
I'm all about peeing in the ocean, but when you're snorkeling? I feel sorry for whoever was behind you.
Tracey: I was kind of enough to "seclude" myself from the others. I'm all about sharing the love... but not in a "swim through my pee" kind of way.
Try peeing in a wet suit...
I like clothes too big also, unfortunately all my clothes are getting too small. Oh well.
jews in your pants? wow. amanda just jumped up like 50 notches on my badass-o-meter.
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