Patience is a virtue...

The four of us never thought we'd arrive in Cancun.

We arrived with the boys at the Phoenix airport two and a half hours before our flight. Tack on the two and a half hours it was delayed and that equals five hours at the airport. Five hours of people watching. Five hours of saying "I'm sure we'll start boarding soon." Yeah. Whatever.

We did finally board our flight after they found us another plane. Turns out the "scheduled maintenance" turned into "not being able to fix the plane today". Oops.

We did finally arrive in Cancun. My naturally curly hair shouted "Finally some moisture!" as the plane touched down. The curling and frizzing started immediately. It wasn't long before I had an afro the size of the moon. My hat sat a full foot from the top of my head.

The line at immigration was long. We spent another hour people watching as we waited to have our passports stamped. Stoney and Tony's passports were used to the drill. Manda and mine's were a little nervous to be stamped for the first time. The fellow who helped us was surprisingly gentle as he flipped our passports open, dipped his stampper in ink and left his mark.

I'm not sure if everyone knows the extent of my good fortune and luck. I mean delayed flights, lost baggage... If something good can happen, it will. So, imagine my pleasure when I was selected for a full and comprehensive search when going through customs. Actually, the search wasn't that bad, they warmed up the lube before applying it to the glove.

After customs and I had a cigarette and parted ways with promises to call each other later, the four of us started the ten minute journey to the hotel. Turns out there were a couple hundred other people trying to make a similar journey. We found ourselves at the back of this line since customs took so long to refold all the clothes in my suitcase. An hour later, we arrived at the hotel.

It was worth the delays and patience. Dinner was ready and waiting. The ocean waving at us as we approached. We waved back... This was going to be a great trip!

... more to come...


Peace Out.
:o)

Amazing Genes...

My grandma was a brilliant, energetic woman who passed away May 11th. Less than a week after being diagnosed with liver cancer. She had the innocent, contagious energy of a child and the hard earned wisdom of a woman who lived her life to the fullest. And being married half a dozen times, she did indeed live life to the fullest!

Water was her vice. So much so, she was concerned they wouldn't have enough for her in heaven. She asked us multiple times if we thought God had sufficient water stored up. We assured her that God would know what she needed. After she passed, we smiled and said, "Guess she was finally convinced there would be enough water in heaven." Hilarious and witty despite her pain, my grandma left us smiling.

Watching my mother watch her mother die was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. My mother is amazing. Her strength. Her dedication and loyalty. No matter how much she cried, she was still beautiful. Me however, I cry and my face swells up like a ballon and my nose glows in the dark. I apparently got my dad's crying genes.

To her core, my mother is a genuinely good person. She'll only kill insects and small rodents. Nothing larger than that. Well, okay she ran over a snake once with the car, but it was only because she didn't see it until it was too late. Other than that, she doesn't kill much.

Through all the tears, there was laughter. Lots of laughter. Laughter because my grandma was funnier than hell. But also, because being around my family always leads to laughter. Someone always says something stupid, or a niece/nephew has projectile diarrhea... or sometimes we laugh because we don't know what else to do.

My point in talking about all of this is: I come from a long line of amazing women. If I turn out to be anything but amazing, it is my father's fault. Since only his genes could screw things up at this point.

Really though, I am very fortunate to have had my grandma's influence in my life. And even more so to have been raised by my mother. (and my father, but that's a whole other story!)

Peace Out.
:o)

It Itches.

So. It finally happened. After all these years of talking about it. Years of accusing other people of having one. Years of laughing at the mere possibility. I have a rash. Yes. A real one.

It showed up on Monday. The itching was the first clue. It started creeping across my astonishingly firm abdominals (a girl can wish!). Then it headed north to my chest. (have I mentioned I can now bench press 85 pounds?).

Before I knew it, the rash had invaded my nether regions... my legs silly!

We're pretty sure the rash is a direct result of my attempting to obtain a tan via fake baking. There are parts of my body that haven't seen sunlight since the last time I ran around outside naked. Which I'm pretty sure was in the early 80's.

Since the rash still hasn't fully disappeared, I had to break down and call a doctor. Sheesh. I told my boss I had a doctor's appointment because of hives. I thought a rash sounded too "STD-ish".

Any of you have any ointment I can borrow?... After my doctor gives me my own stash I'll return the favor.

And to anyone wondering. It only itches. No burning. :o)

Peace Out.