Ass Rerun.

Turns out graduate school is hard. It requires a lot of work. So in an attempt to pay attention to the blog, here's an old blog entry I wrote a while back. Enjoy. --

Ass... makes me smile every time I hear it... this simple little word makes my face light up like a Christmas tree. Ah, the simple, guilty pleasures in life are the best.

For as much as I love ass, I can not say ass... I can type ass, I can spell ass, I can read ass, I can smell ass, I can listen to ass, I can even say ass in my head... heck, I can even spot a good ass walking down the street, but I can not for the life of me, say ass out loud. I know, I know... why the hell not? If I knew the answer to that question, I would be a lot cooler than I am now... that's for sure. Cause you know all the cool people can say ass and not flinch.

Flinch?... do I really flinch?... well, I have yet to say ass out loud, so I don't know if I would flinch. But, I'm a pretty big nerd, so it wouldn't surprise me. For Example: I hate feet. If someone's nasty ass feet touch me, I flinch. Now you may say, that's not weird, lots of people don't like feet. Well, you're right, my example was not a very good one. Let me try again. For Example 2: I hate getting flipped off. It hurts my feelings and even if someone does it in jest, I get mad at them and want to kick their ass. I also can not flip other people off. Guess this plays into what my first grade teacher, Mrs. White, taught me... "Lindsay, if you don't want other people to flip you off, you can't very well go around flipping them off. Now stop flipping me off!"... I also learned from Mrs White, that its not good to eat glue, pick my nose during class and chase girls around the playground (heaven forbid people think I'm gay!). She was a wealth of knowledge. (She had ghetto ass... Mrs. White was not a slim woman.)

So back to the topic. Ass. You know what makes a good ass?... a good set of legs to anchor it. I'm talking nice tone legs with a good set of calves. Calves... not the ones that "moo" and eat grass, I'm talking about the ones that immediately precede a nice set of ankles. And a nice set of ankles precede a good looking pair of shoes. =o)

Anyways, I forget why I started this topic... Oh yeah, I don't have an ass. I'm thinking of getting ass implants.

Peace Out.

=o)

Dosing Off...

Being a lung surgeon just simply wasn't enough for me. Apparently, I had way too much time on my hands. So I decided to go back to graduate school. I want more meaningless pieces of paper supposedly representing my intelligence. They look good in frames.

I'm sitting in class right now. This class is four hours long. That's a long ass time. Try sitting still for 4 hours. Listening to a little Asian man. With an accent. Talking about things that make you wish you were doing something more exciting. Paint drying sounds fun. Or maybe somebody is growing some grass somewhere that I could watch. I'm desperate enough that spending time with the molester is appealing at this point.

We just had a break and I bought some strawberry flavored mentos from the market here on campus. I'll be suffering from a sugar crash in about an hour and a half. But really, who can resist strawberry mentos? Not me.

Manda's taking a Spanish class right now. My little southern girl is learning to speak Spanish with a southern accent. I am continually smiling because I don't think she could get any cuter.

I have nothing interesting to say. I am just bored.

*wishing Scottie would beam me up*

Peace Out.
:o)

100 Things...

Saw this on a few different blogs and thought it was fun. Here are 100 things about me:

1. I am the middle child of 5
2. People tell me middle children have issues
3. I don't know if they're trying to tell me something.
4. I have an older brother
5. older sister
6. younger sister
7. younger brother
8. There are 8 years between me and my older brother
9. and 4 years between me and my younger brother.
10. My family tells me I am a female version of my father.
11. That's because him and I have similar personalities
12. and senses of humor.
13. Of course, I think my dad is awesome.
14. I am a geek.
15. People disagree with me until I start talking about my job.
16. That shuts them up
17. and makes their eyes glaze over
18. Turns out my job isn't that interesting.
19. But I love it
20. It suites my A.D.D.
21. That's because I'm always working on 10 things at once.
22. I'm in love with my best friend.
23. Thankfully the feeling is mutual.
24. We've been together almost 5 years.
25. We have two kids
26. With four legs
27. and a tale each.
28. I used to have a cat
29. named Trojan.
30. While I was packing for a trip, he peed in my suitcase
31. and I didn't find out until I reached my destination.
32. All my clothes smelled like cat piss.
33. Somehow he lived through that.
34. I used to have a dog
35. named Browser.
36. He was standing next to me in the kitchen one time
37. when I heard a noise
38. I looked down to see projectile diarrhea shooting out his ass.
39. He just stood there like it wasn't happening.
40. I still laugh about that now.
41. I played basketball in high school.
42. Made varsity my sophomore year.
43. I was a long range shooter
44. who played small forward.
45. During a game, a teammate and I ran smack dab into each other
46. while running opposite directions on the court.
47. I had a black eye for a week.
48. Another time I stepped on a teammates foot
49. during warm ups
50. sprained my ankle.
51. I was in a walking cast for a month.
52. The other day, I ran into a wall at work
53. that's been there since the day I started
54. 7.5 years ago.
55. Turns out I'm kind of a klutz.
56. My favorite food is tortilla soup
57. with chicken
58. and not a lot of onions.
59. I detest onions
60. and tomatoes
61. and green bell peppers.
62. My mom loves green bell peppers.
63. I also love pesto
64. and pasta.
65. and PB&J.
66. But not necessarily together.
67. We shop at Target
68. at least once a week.
69. Sometimes we like to go there just to hang out.
70. We have friends that hang out there too.
71. Not at our Target, but theirs.
72. We detest Walmart.
73. I refuse to shop there.
74. I'd pay twice as much for stuff just not to shop there.
75. I'm not hairy.
76. I can go 3 days without shaving my legs
77. and there's barely any hair.
78. I have to cut my finger nails often.
79. Almost every other day.
80. I can't handle any white showing
81. or hang nails.
82. I like my eyebrows.
83. They're very low maintenance.
84. They might be my best feature
85. next to my eyes
86. and lips
87. and biceps.
88. I have the boobs in my family.
89. Or at least my sister's tell me that.
90. I'm not complaining
91. nor do I get complaints from others.
92. Caffeine gives me headaches
95. I'm stupid for drinking Diet Coke lately.
96. Black olives never get old.
97. They're good with everything
98. except cereal.
99. I call loofah sponges, oompa loompas
100. Because I can never remember the word "loofah". (yes I had to confirm with Manda what they were really called.)

Peace Out.
:o)

Top Ten: Cancun Adventures

I thought I would be bored. Laying on the beach gets old. I was wrong.

10. The pineapple. Fresh pineapple with every meal. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Turns out there is a lot of fiber in pineapple. By the end of the trip, I was more "regular" than I'd ever been.

9. The hammocks. Good for reading, sleeping, and getting sun burned. (And it usually happens in that order)

8. Traveling two and a half hours to Cozumel. Thanks to Tony's fine Spanish skills we were able to catch the city bus to downtown Cancun (60 cents and 20 minutes), then jump on a Greyhound style air conditioned bus down to Playa del Carmen ($6 and 90 minutes), only to get on a ferry to Cozumel from there ($11 and 45 minutes). Quite the adventure considering we were the only white people on everything except the ferry. I got very good at saying "Hola", "Gracias" and executing the "smile and nod". (hello, thank you and I have no idea what you're saying)

7. Manda's impression of a chinese person imitating a white person. It wasn't funny until we asked why she was making her eyes so wide. Her reply? "Well, chinese people's eyes are slits, so if they want to imitate a white person, they have to make them bigger." It had us laughing so hard we cried.

6. Running around in bikini tops and board shorts. This is an adventure for me because I'd never worn a bikini anything before. I only flashed my nips a couple of times... not intentionally of course.

5. Ana our waitress the last night in Cancun. She was so good at providing potent alcoholic drinks, she had Manda and Tony toasted in 5 drinks. In fact poor Tony puked his guts out during dinner. Not to worry, he felt much better afterwards.

4. Snorkeling in Cozumel. We went out on one of those "glass bottom" boats... which really turned out to be an old, rickety boat with plexiglass inserts. It was so high class it required someone to hold wires from the motor to a battery under the backseat. At first we thought it was scary, then it was funny. Really, who's idea was it to combine water and naked electrical wires?! I don't think the guides get paid enough for possible electrocution.

3. I bought a silver ring at one of the markets in Cancun. It became my "lesbionic" ring. Named because it looked like something Wonder Woman would wear. Not sure how we made the jump from Wonder Woman to the Bionic Woman, but somehow we did. Once the jump was made, the ring was named.
2. No clocks anywhere. Never knowing what time it was. This often resulted in us trying to eat at very odd times, but it was strangely freeing. If I only I could avoid clocks in real life! I already hate alarm clocks and refuse to use them. I think I would be ostracized if I avoided clocks all together. Plus, I'm obsessed with watches.

1. Sun bathing. We watched women sun bathe topless. We watched men sun bathe topless. We watched iguanas sun bathe topless. There was a lot of topless sun bathing going on. There were also a lot of sun burned white people. We didn't join the sun burned white people club until Monday. And trust me, we had tan lines. Topless sun bathing is a sport we'd prefer to watch instead of participate in. Our nipples are assests worthy of protection.

Manda and I have been peeling since we got back. I guess the fun doesn't stop when the vacation ends!!

Visit our Picasa for more pics.

Peace Out!
:o)